"I didn't have children to spend time away from them!" aka: my mom struggle


Life is fleeting, don't waste the time you are given, spend it with your loved ones.

This is my struggle with full timing.  I am so excited to be at this point in our lives.  We have worked hard and planned for so long, but it is still a struggle.  When James first started talking about what he would like to do when we retire, I thought, yeah, that would be cool to see this great country of ours, but I didn't think about the realities of not having a home base and also the reality of not being near my children.  

They are all adults and living on their own.  I have zero worries that they can handle life without mom right there, but my heart is heavy.  I have always loved being a mom and being a part of my children's lives, and while that won't change in the big picture, the day to day will, particularly with my boys.  Our daughter moved 350 miles away right out of college.  She was so excited to move to a big city, and she has definitely rocked it since and I couldn't be more proud of her.  She has always been the child who wanted to get out and explore, studying abroad during college and traveling when she could, so it was no surprise she wouldn't stay in our smallish town area as an adult.  The boys are more homebodies and lived home longer, and it will definitely be hard to not see them each week.  They are now all out on their own, working and doing wonderfully, but it is hard knowing that I won't be getting my hugs as often.  

Connection with your children is vital, for them and for you.  I like to say, "I didn't have children to spend time away from them!" and subsequently, our lives have focused on family time and supporting one another in the things each one is involved in.  We will still be sure to support one another and when events happen,we can and will certainly be in attendance, but the day to day has changed.

I miss them.

On the other hand, the ability to spend time with my husband relaxing, traveling and having fun has been long anticipated.  James and I like a lot of the same activities and enjoy each others company, so I know that this season of our lives will be good.

The compromise that James and I have settled on is that we we will be away from our kiddos no more than 90 days.  I would prefer less time away in between seeing them, but the country is big, and if we want to see any of it out West, which we do, then 90 days away will allow that.  We have extended the open invitation to the kids to join us at any time and I really hope they do.  In the mean time, I know they are happy for us to be in this long awaited season and they also know how much we love them.

I look forward to finding a home base (house) again where my children and grandchildren can all gather to spend time together.  My hope is that it will be in the next 12-18 months and that it would be somewhere equal distance from my kiddos so that all can come visit easily.  From there, James and I can travel with the camper, but still have the ability to be home.  Going on a trip is great, but coming home is a comfort beyond words.  We are definitely planning on being snow-birds since we are both tired of cold, snowy winters!

In the mean time, thank goodness for technology! The ability to text, call, video chat are a saving grace for this momma's heavy heart.  Love you my babies! 

Joni (aka Momma)

Comments

  1. Someday Is NowNovember 21, 2021 at 3:02 PM

    awe - your sentiment is so sweet. I bet you are an amazing mother and your heart is in the right place miss. joni. I hope your husband appreciates you!

    ReplyDelete

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